Why I Love Life..

Today I'm going to list 30 things I love about life (I've never even thought about this before.)

1. Sleeping in the nude
2. Eating a large cheese pizza by my lonesome
3. Being better then someone and something
4. When people ask me if I'm dating Sasha and I have to tell them that she's gay
5. Abstract art
6. Abstract people
7. Eccentric music
8. My mother and my brothers
9. The perfect flourishing video
10. Reading something that is so intelligent, that I can literally feel the endorphins being released in my brain
11. Accomplishing a goal
12. ARGUING
13. Admitting I was wrong and seeing the other persons disbelief when I do
14. Being wrong
15. Thinking about how all my possessions and family and friends and thoughts and ideas (for the most part) will be gone and mean nothing to me when I die.
16. Nothingness
17. Driving with the music blasting
18. Being young
19. Knowing more about a topic then your teacher (never Mr. Russel, I tremble at how knowledgeable he is, without a doubt the most intelligent person I've ever met.)
20. When my mom makes me my favorite dinner
21. Eating after I weigh in
22. Editing videos on my computer
23. Being vegetarian
24. Baby's laughing
25. Cenematography
26. Alan Watts
27. Not caring
28. Inventing card flourishes
29. Laughing until my cheeks hurt
30. Wow that made me feel better

 

Card Flourishing has been like a drug for me for years. It's a way for me to feel at peace. When I'm practicing it's so much like meditation. There is nothing but me and my cards. The repetition of me doing the same flourishes over and over is so soothing and relaxing.

I know I haven't been doing new things everyday. I mean I have but nothing substantial. I might change my project to reflection everyday, but I feel like that's a cop out since I do that anyways. I'll do something substantially new tomorrow I'm making a promise to myself.

"All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking." - Friedrich Nietzsche

I made this the other day.
Click it ^^^

No Rhyme or Reason.

Throughout my life I have spent most of my time in my own head. I've analyzed myself endlessly. I've plucked and dissected every situation and decision I've made (not literally but you know what I mean.) My most prevalent habit is trying to find a reason for everything, but not just any reason, a sufficient and  logically sound reason. This may not be the best mind set to possess, but it is the one I currently have at this moment and I'm trying to be honest. It is very hard for me to experience something and feel the emotions which may result and let that be that. I constantly feel a compelling drive to analyze everything I experience in such a critical way. My girlfriend is the complete opposite. She is very comfortable with letting things be and moving on. It's quite remarkable to me how she can experience something just for the experience. It's as if we have two completely different brains. The first thing that comes to mind when I think about this is, one day I asked her if she truly believed in a god. She told me she did so I asked why. She replied with "because I want to." I could not let this go for the life of me. I probably spent 3-4 hours on this same topic with her trying to figure out how she can just do something and let it be without any kind of analytical thought. It's as if she completely removed any doubt and conflicting thoughts she had about the subject and believed it on pure faith and emotion. I truly and honestly envy her ability to do such a thing. She is and will continue to inspire me to do things just to do them. To live life without the explanations. To just be without trying to comprehend the before and after.

I have been doing things in my life, since I've been with this girl, that go against my current comfort zone. I am making a post on my blog that doesn't really have an intended rhyme or reason, it is just what it is, and I'm not going to proof read it or change any words or grammar mistakes. I'm just going to let it be. For one of the first times in my life I'm going to be okay with what is.

Dorm Room.

Today I'm sleeping in a college dorm for the first time in my life. So far, I've seen how the guys that live here interact with each other. It's very stereo-typical. A typical conversation would be "hey bitch" "you're a stupid faggot". Yes, very substantial and profound. Even though I feel these guys have nothing worth saying, I also feel very excepted and embraced. They even invited me to a party tomorrow, which was nice of them. Tomorrow morning I'm going to a wrestling clinic, which should be fun.

There is nothing substantial about this post, but not to worry. I have lots of ideas.

"It will be a great day when our schools have all the money they need, and our air force has to have a bake-sale to buy a bomber."  -  Robert Fulghum

I love you.

My first thing that I'm going to do is write I love you on everyone's blog.